Day 2

Last night I thought about my family. I thought about the time that we went to San Ildefonso for Easter. I thought about the long journey and remembered how Concepcion asked so many questions. I remember the story of Peter’s betrayal and I swore that I would never betray anyone like that. I woke up just before the first light. I saw Capitan Mendoza walking and decided to follower him. I eventually talked to him. I had so many questions but I knew that I couldn’t ask them all. I really wanted to ask one question though. I have wanted a sure answer to this since I got here. I asked the Capitan if we would win this war. I knew that we had 42 wars before this one but there may be another 42 wars before one of us wins. I also wondered if this war would make a difference. If it did, how could it make a difference? He said we must try. To me there is no good side to this war. I am no better or worse off with the revolutionaries than with the loyalists. You fight on both sides and you will probably die on either side. Everyone says that the families of the revolutionaries will be taken care of. I don’t believe that. I remember the people of the village, and all the soldiers did was to take the chickens, melons and corn as I licked my lips wanting to rip my stomach open with hunger. The thing that I hated most though was that they would tell me that make a bad soldier and yet I’m here. If I am such a bad soldier than why am I here? I guess life is not as easy as I wished it could be.